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offpluto:

every show needs a musical episode. even if it’s terribly out of place and confusing and nobody on the cast can sing it needs a musical episode. musical episodes

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

i am pretty much 3% human and 97% stress

irwihn:

the sexual tension between you and the cashier your age at the supermarket

scoutprouvaire:

schrodingersnerd:

everythingisnightvale:

discontentramblings:

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.

image

my hand slipped

will reblog until this becomes an actual show

tastefullyoffensive:

This is what happens when you don’t separate your colors and whites.[via]

tastefullyoffensive:

This is what happens when you don’t separate your colors and whites.

[via]

zero-the-her0:

nightcloak:

unforgivingplace:

I am fairly convinced that Red Pandas are not real.

OHMYGOD

THEY ARE LIKE CHILDREN WITH TAILS 

wardenblues:

Cat: *whiny meow*

Me: *imitates sarcastically*

lonely-loner-stoner:

dermythosdessisyphos:

wewillavenge-it:

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

glasses

Concerts

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

girllookitthatbody-ahh:

I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.

“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”

Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.

sharped0:

beyonceofmysticfalls:

Imagine the middle child wandering by herself onto your aisle at Walmart.

ok but what about the youngest child? ‘human being’ sounds like she’s secretly a reptilian and is trying very hard to convince everyone she isnt.

sharped0:

beyonceofmysticfalls:

Imagine the middle child wandering by herself onto your aisle at Walmart.

ok but what about the youngest child? ‘human being’ sounds like she’s secretly a reptilian and is trying very hard to convince everyone she isnt.

dikubutto:

blackturtleneckcat:

it’s not rude to interrupt someone to point out a dog

It’s actually more polite because then they don’t miss out on a dog

andysambergg:

i have so much homework

what movie should i watch

alecwiens:

I have a bad habit of assuming I’ve annoyed people, and it usually ends up with me dropping communication and hoping they’ll be the ones to continue it.

churchsext:

thelegendofsugarbear:

communistbakery:

we’re up all night to get l

axatives for this horrible diarrhea

if you’re about to take laxatives for diarrhea then I’ve got some urgent news for you comrade