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christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

fragileclara:

greybies:

who even came up with the word motherfucker in the first place?

oedipus

neilnevins:

the harry potter wiki gets really in-depth

neilnevins:

the harry potter wiki gets really in-depth

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

comfortedalloy4:

sezja:

gotothemattresses:

thefrogman:

In Soviet Russia, kitten adopts YOU.

You can’t possibly say no to that.

"I HAVE SELECTED MY HUMAN. WE CAN NOW LEAVE THIS PLACE.  HUMAN.  SIGN THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK."

so cute

comfortedalloy4:

sezja:

gotothemattresses:

thefrogman:

In Soviet Russia, kitten adopts YOU.

You can’t possibly say no to that.

"I HAVE SELECTED MY HUMAN. WE CAN NOW LEAVE THIS PLACE.  HUMAN.  SIGN THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK."

so cute

bisexualzuko:

littlegracenote:

umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute

that’s a trumpet

um no it’s a lute

bisexualzuko:

littlegracenote:

umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute

that’s a trumpet

um no it’s a lute

sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

ja-mbles:

humpinghippogriffs:

seerofkarkittens:

pipjustice:

keepcalmanduseyourpatronus:

shlabam:

Never hang out with anyone who says “feminist” the same way Draco Malfoy says “mudblood”.

This is the best way to explain this.

never hang out with anyone who says “men” the same way malfoy says “mudblood” either

Never hang out with anyone who says anything like “mudblood”

unless it’s “vegetables”

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equalist:

seeing a post u want to reblog after you hit the scroll to top button

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okagami:

marypsue:

Kill the idea that naivety is an unforgivable flaw but cynicism is just wisdom, murder it, chop it up and serve it for dinner, I don’t care, just end this bullshit idea that it’s better to hate than to love and better to rot in miserable bitter resignation than to hope for the best.

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jigglemyboobies:

kushaw:

jigglemyboobies:

Why was Hitler hit with a baseball?

because he was a fucking racist, sexist and homophobic nationalistic douchebag

no because he did nazi it coming

pulpfanfiction:

onslaughtsix:

askradicalgoodspeed:

tumblewhoreo:

Not gonna lie some guy literally walked down my road an hour ago drawing faces on everybody’s cars


What a cockmunch
Like, he could have been nice and actually wiped their cars off
but instead he drew faces on them as if to say “I was here and put effort in to do something, but it was something useless.”

pulpfanfiction:

onslaughtsix:

askradicalgoodspeed:

tumblewhoreo:

Not gonna lie some guy literally walked down my road an hour ago drawing faces on everybody’s cars

What a cockmunch

Like, he could have been nice and actually wiped their cars off

but instead he drew faces on them as if to say “I was here and put effort in to do something, but it was something useless.”

image

kierongillen:

sebpatrick:

Always reblog this.

I will too.

kateordie:

Oh god I feel this so hard